Reverb10 December 30, 2010
Posted by dorianagraye in Reverb10.add a comment
Okay, so Christmas has me way behind, but I AM GOING TO FINISH THIS DANG IT.
December 12 – Body Integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? (Author: Patrick Reynolds)
This is an interesting prompt, because this year I’ve felt more alienated from my own body than I ever have. From allergies to back problems, I really struggled to get myself in order.
However, I did discover PiYo, which is a mixture of Pilates and Yoga. Though it hasn’t fixed all of my problems, it gave me a chance to try and get in tune with my body. Though it wasn’t always successful, I always felt a little better after leaving a class.
This year, I just didn’t jive with myself. I’ve been stiff, static, and sick. I’ve always been comfortable in my skin, but this year I felt as if my body was working against me and really hampering my productivity. After having a few weeks off, I feel better, but not totally in sync. I think a combination of stress, overcommittment, and exhaustion threw me off, and I hope that 2011 will help me get back on track.
December 13 – Action. When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step? (Author: Scott Belsky)
This is pretty easy, since in graduate school your next step is lined out for you. Right now, it’s completing my coursework.
It’s the steps after that which become really problematic. After I complete my coursework, I begin reading for my comprehensive exams, where I pick three subject areas to specialize in. The problem is, I like tons of literature. The only areas I know I HATE are 18th century literature and modernism. Other than that, I’m really open.
Right now, I’m thinking about Victorian literature, which I’ve always had a passion for. Of course, my major emphasis has been gender, which I’ll keep with. However, after that, I have no idea. I used to be really opposed to American literature, but now I’m pretty okay with it. I’m really interested in the American West, but not westerns, per se. Minority literature, like African-American literature, has always fascinated me, and I’ve done quite a bit of work with Southern lit, too. Sigh.
I really need to crack down on this—I only have a few months to decide.
December 14 – Appreciate. What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it? (Author: Victoria Klein)
TIME. This year, I have come to really appreciate my time (though I can’t say that I use my time any better. Cue sad trombone).
I’ve come to really value my own time, but I’ve also become acutely aware of others’, as well. I don’t waste other people’s time if I can help it, and when people willingly spend time with me, I try and thank them for it.
December 15 – 5 Minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author: Patti Digh)
Ooh, a toughie. Here we go…
I really don’t want to forget playing games with my grandparents. I always laugh so hard when we sit down and play Uno or Yahtzee. I’m glad that John has come to appreciate that, too.
I’ll never forget the Razorback game that lasted 6 hours because of rain delays. John’s dad and brother were able to find John, Courtney, and I by my love of kettle corn, and we watched the whole thing, start to finish. (Also, I want to remember sledding on Christmas, even though that technically was LAST Christmas. Hoo boy, that was wicked fun!)
Diving and Cozumel. What a wonderful reward for finishing my thesis. I’d like to forget having my ear nibbled by a creepy old mariachi dude, but that crap is pretty memorable.
I also don’t want to forget my thesis work. It was amazingly difficult, but it was the first time I really felt like an academic. I researched it top to bottom, and presenting it felt amazing. It reassured me that I can survive in academia, and maybe even be good at it.
I want to remember my honors composition II class, too. I really felt like a literature teacher, and I think I did my job to the best of my abilities at the time. I know I can do a better job now.
Most importantly, though, I don’t want to forget the quiet moments with John, where we just sat and were.
Reverb10 December 17, 2010
Posted by dorianagraye in Life, Reverb10.Tags: adventure, Just For Fun, reflection, Reverb10
2 comments
Wow, I didn’t realize it had been this long since I last blogged. Trust me, I’ve wanted to, but I’ve been running at full capacity this semester. I’m glad it’s over, and thankfully, that means I’ll have more time to blog. Yay!
I thought I’d start with a project called Reverb10, which is an online initiative to reflect on the past year and look forward to the next. I was inspired to do this by my friend, Aba, who has been “Reverb-ing” (with commitment!) this month.
Since I’m quite far behind, I thought I’d do a couple of posts a day until the month is over. Hopefully this will help get me back in the spirit of blogging, too.
So without further ado…
December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)
Full. This year has been packed to the brim. I finished my Master’s thesis and moved straight into a Ph.D program that gave me one night a week at home. John and I took over more responsibility in our church, which kept us quite committed as well. We were often double or triple booked, and our life was a constant—but successful—juggling act.
One year from today, I’d like to say that my life is balanced. This isn’t so much as a wish as it is a necessity; neither I nor John can keep operating at the pace that we have been. The only problem is that we’re both strong leaders and often assume responsibilities that we have no business taking on. I don’t want to sacrifice our families or our church if we can help it, but I’d like us both to take more time to just unwind, relax, and have some fun. Crazy, right?
December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)
Unfortunately, there’s quite a bit that contributes to this—mainly school/work. This can’t so much be eliminated as streamlined. I’m a pretty organized and on-task individual, but my officemates love to chat which really cramps my productivity. I want to maximize and make better use of my time so I can shell out some more time for fun writing.
December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)
I felt most alive when I was scuba diving off the coast of Cozumel. Honestly, it’s one of my favorite things to do, and it’s such an otherworldly experience. The ocean, especially the Caribbean in Mexico) is just phenomenally beautiful, and that’s just from the beach. There’s a whole ‘nother world under the surface that very few people get to experience. Heck, most people are blissfully unaware—as we were snorkeling the beach, we saw stingrays swimming around people’s ankles!
When you dive, there’s a real sense of excitement and anxiousness as you suit up. I mean, the potential for death is really high if you’re not careful about your equipment. Once you hop in, though, diving is just so incredibly…peaceful. The only thing you hear is your own breathing and the bubbles from your exhaust as you sink down to the bottom. Scuba diving is physical, but you actually swim fairly slow as you go through reef formations that are thousands of years old.
The one amazing thing that you just don’t understand from aquariums, or even snorkeling, are the incredible colors of the reef. Every color imaginable is down there, and the patterns are just so complex. Everything down there is alive, moving, sparkling. There’s just so much life that you can’t possibly take it all in. We saw sea turtles, squid, lobster, sharks, eels…just tons of aquatic life.
The coral reefs are the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen, and there’s nothing that makes me feel more alive than recognizing how small and insignificant I am in God’s greater plan. You can’t not be aware of that when you’re diving and surrounded by so much magnificence.
December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)
I don’t know if this counts, but I pretty much discussed this on Day 3. I guess, for variety’s sake, I’d say that my job cultivates wonder all the time. I’m constantly engaged in explorative thought; my job—and the thing I most enjoy—is teasing out some new meaning from a text. You could say that I wonder all day!
I’m Lovin’: This DRESS October 14, 2010
Posted by dorianagraye in Life.add a comment
Oh my GOD, it’s gorgeous.
29. Earn my MA in English October 6, 2010
Posted by dorianagraye in Life, Life List.Tags: Accomplishment, Life List
add a comment
Earning a Master’s degree is much less momentous than getting your bachelor’s in anything.
This is a funny thing to say, I know. I’m not saying that it’s less important–that’s obviously not the case. I’m also not saying that it’s less rewarding, less work, or somehow easy. That’s not true either. It just…comes and goes with little fanfare. With your undergraduate, you and your friends are lamenting the end of your college days together, and the closer the end of the semester comes, the more nostalgic you are. Finally, you graduate, hug, and go your separate ways. A new chapter opens.
For me, this was certainly true. I went from having two weeks of graduation festivities to getting married, and within the course of a month my whole life had metamorphosed into something new. My MA wasn’t like that. I finished, defended, and then went straight back to work.
This sounds like I’m really down on my degree. I’m actually incredibly proud of myself. I’ve never worked so hard for anything in my whole life, and I can’t wait until I get my piece of paper that proves I’ve accomplished something great. I loved writing my thesis on Doris Betts and the American West. Though it was incredibly stressful, and the most I’ve ever written in my whole life, I think I could easily revisit that subject and write *more.* It was…fun, in its own way. I pretty much wrote nonstop from May until the beginning of August, and I logged 50+ hours a week on that thing. It’s my baby, and without trying to sound pompous, it’s good. Not great, but good.
When I finished my BA, I thought I was pretty smart, that I’d stretched my skills about as far as they could go. Getting my MA has proven to me that my abilities can be pushed to almost limitless standards, and as long as I’m game, I can keep learning. Improving. Growing. I was telling John last week that when I was a junior, a 7 page term paper scared the bejeezus out of me. Now I look at 25 to 30 page papers like they’re normal, and often find myself having to *cut* ideas and information. I’m a much better writer, critic, and thinker, that’s for sure.
The biggest blessing of this journey, though, has been my teaching experience. I love it. It’s something I could picture myself doing for the rest of my life, and if I stick through my Ph.D, I just might be. That thought is scary and exciting. It’s sublime, even. On top of that, the support from my family and loved ones has been tremendous. I really know who I can count on now.
My MA is something I knew I wanted since high school. Having it feels good–really, really good.
People Lie October 4, 2010
Posted by dorianagraye in Life.Tags: academia, Angry, soap box, Truly Disturbing, WTF?
add a comment
Last night, John and I were sitting on the couch in our PJs discussing how people “Other” God when I had a life-shaking revelation.
We’d just finished a rolicking debate when I popped open the computer to look up something on the Internet. Of course I ended up on Facebook, where one of our RELATIONS* had a status update. Of course, it looked like someone had hacked his/her facebook account, but the status update read like this:
“UNNAMED RELATION sits on the computer and Skypes with his/her boyfriend/girlfriend all day and never goes to class.”
I laughed, because this RELATION is a freshman in college and, as we all know, freshman year is rife with mistakes. Also, I’m not entirely sure that this RELATION’S status is a lie–honestly, not going to class and hanging out with the boyfriend/girlfriend sounds about right to me. The only problem is that this RELATION’S parents are also on facebook, so they caught wind of the update and had some choice comments. (By the way, how much drama must friending your parents cause? Thank God both of mine are computer illiterate and I’ve blocked any other family member that might cause me problems).
I read the update to John, and I laughed about how, since RELATION doesn’t have a scholarship and has no academic distinctions to compromise, it would be impossible to know what his/her GPA is. John just sort of snorted and laughed and was like, “Yeah, and even if s/he talked about it, there’s no way to know if s/he’s telling the truth.”
It was like two semi-trucks full of cymbals had collided IN MY BRAIN.
People lie about their GPAs? I grew up in a city where I couldn’t go out alone at night after dark, and yet it had never occurred to me that people would lie about that. GPAs are like…sacred. It’s not like lying about your weight, which is really anybody’s guess. It’s like lying about your innate character, your capabilities, and your competency. It’s one of those WHOPPER of a lies, one of those lies that is so incredibly unethical at its center that it pretty much qualifies you as the scourge of the earth. What’s the use of going to school and working hard if I can just fake how well I did on my resume, application, or otherwise? I’ll just tell everyone I got a 6.0 because I’m awesome like that and move on. I get that not everyone does well in school, sometimes through no fault of their own. Fine–then leave your GPA off your resume, or make sure that you can address it with honesty, candor, and effectiveness in your interview. It makes me think that students right out of college with no job experience should have to turn in transcripts to their employers or something, to keep them honest (don’t eat me in the comments, I know this is a poorly thought out and rash idea). It makes me want to find people who lie about their GPAs and kick them in the throat. Hard.
*Name unspoken because I cannot afford another one of those hoo-rahs**
**Last time I had a blog, I posted some things that John’s family found controversial and it was a big, awful, HUGE mess.
I Am An eBay Idiot September 16, 2010
Posted by dorianagraye in Life.Tags: adventure, fashion, Just For Fun, Whoops
add a comment
I have lots of stories to tell–like how my SISTER gave my DAD my texting number and how he now sends me copious texts that mean nothing. This morning he sent me a text that read, “sexy maxi found mexican in Springfield.” I still have no idea what that means. He also seems religiously opposed to spelling, even in text speak. Example: “luv u mch.” What the crap.
ANYWAY, that’s not the story I’m going to tell you. Not right now, anyway.
I’m an eBay virgin (well, not anymore, but I was until a week ago). I’d heard everyone rave about eBay, and I’d looked on the site a few times, but I was largely unimpressed. Most of the items you couldn’t bid on, and those you could were overpriced. I left it in favor of Amazon.com with no qualms about it.
Until last week. My mom’s birthday is coming up quickly, so I started looking for a cheap pair of Chaco sandals for her. (If you don’t know what Chacos are, you should stop RIGHT NOW and go to this website and marvel in wonder. They’re only the best shoes ever. Really.) She never buys herself anything nice, and she’s always working outside. I wanted to make sure she had something to wear that will be as tough as she is. The problem is, the shoes run about $100, and unfortunately, I don’t have that kind of money just lying around.* After looking around for a good deal on a used pair, I ventured onto eBay.
Turns out, there were quite a few pairs to bid on. I registered, then hopped on my first item. I placed my initial bid, which I was pretty confident with, but then eBay asked me to place a second. Now, let’s pause here. I have two degress, for God’s sake, but it did not occur to me that I was setting up some sort of automatic bid function. I just thought they wanted me to bid a little higher. So I did, and ultimately lost. I tried this on a few other pairs of used sandals, ultimately being outbid in the closing seconds of the auction. It sort of sucked.
In order to increase my chances of winning, I decided to open up three or four bids at a time, hoping that one would win. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THIS LOGIC SOUNDED GOOD AT THE TIME. Actually, I do know. I thought that once I won, I’d just cancel my other bids and be just peachy. NOTE: YOU CAN’T CANCEL BIDS ON EBAY. I had no clue.
So then I get a second chance offer on a pair of brand new sandals for $20. I immediately had a panic attack. Do I take up this guy on his offer, or try and snag a cuter pair with one of my ongoing auctions? I wrung my hands and ground my teeth in worry. Finally, I decided to go with the new pair and just close out (at this point) my other five open bids. I went ahead an paid, then started looking for bid reduction instructions.
There were none.
Turns out, it’s a breach of contract to lower your bid.
Whoops.
So the next week involved me freaking out about possibly owning 5 pairs of chaco sandals at varying prices. Thank GOD I was outbid on most of them, so now I’m the proud owner of only TWO pairs of Chacos that look exactly the same. Awesome. Turns out that eBay is much, much smarter than I am.
As an aside, anyone interested in a pair of Chacos? Haha.
*I’ve started to pay back my student loans. Even though they’re not anything like what most people have, it’s still expensive!
I Am Not Dead! September 7, 2010
Posted by dorianagraye in Life, Lovin'.Tags: design, home, Just For Fun
add a comment
I’m Lovin’!
Unless you’re familiar with the X-Men, you probably don’t recognize this weather witch. And yet, the art is still stunning no matter what the inspiration. Josh doesn’t open his shop often, and when he does it’s only for a few days. John and I picked up three prints this weekend–namely, Thor, Captain America, and Gambit–right before he closed his doors again. It was the hardest decision I’ve had to make in a while, mostly because I’m desperately in love with most of his prints (I mean, have you seen his oversized X-Men poster?! Love it).
Life List: 91-100 July 2, 2010
Posted by dorianagraye in Life List.Tags: Life List
add a comment
Here’s the “end” of my life list. I set a goal of 100 things, but don’t be surprised if I go over! The point of a life list, in my estimation, is to create a cohesive guide that helps you achieve your dreams. There’s no set number to fulfill, and as I get older, I might remove things from my list and add others, too.
91. Own a sports car.
Mama likes to go fast.
92. Swim with whale sharks in the wild
Biggest fish in the world, and they just so happen to be the hardest to find. However, over the summer they head to the warm waters off the coast of Mexico to mate, and if you time it just right, you can strap on a tank of O2 and jump in the water with them. Totally harmless, but absolutely beautiful.
93. Be part of a choreographed flashmob
I have no desire to converge on the Union Mall with glow sticks. That’s too easy. What I want to do is join a giant, impromptu dance recital. Here are a couple of examples of fabulous flashmobs. Honestly, I hope it’s a Glee one. Geez, I love that show.
94. Attend the Chincoteague Pony Swim
Ponies. Swimming across a channel. Seriously, this looks awesome, not to mention that I read all of the Chincoteague pony books when I was a kid.
95. Learn to decorate cakes a la Rick’s Bakery
Rick’s is like…Fayetteville’s Cake Boss. I want to learn to make gorgeous, high-end style cakes, mainly for my own amusement. But let’s be honest, I love to “wow” at parties. Whip up some awesome, professional cupcakes, and there you go. Instant favorite-person-in-attendance status.
96. Make 100 lovely things
I love to craft, and this gives me a goal. I have so many projects floating around the back of my head/computer hard drive that it’s really kind of ridiculous.
97. Get in the habit of writing thank-you notes…
98. …and write notes to everyone who has shaped me into the person I am today.
Thank yous are so important. I love getting thank you notes in the mail, but for some reason, I seem physically incapable of writing them myself. I just forget, and it really is incredibly rude. I also think I owe huge thank yous to a lot of people in my life. There have been so many teachers, friends, and colleagues that have taught me so much that a card seems like the least I could possibly do.
99. Learn calligraphy
A friend of mine from high school recently started a calligraphy business, and she is awesome at it. (Even when we were in school together, I would envy how neat and perfect her handwriting was). I figure I have nice enough handwriting, why not? And what a skill to have when addressing all of those lovely thank you notes. It just occurred to me, though: if I really learn the skills on my life list, I would be the most rockin’ wedding coordinator EVER.
100. Learn to pick locks
I already know how to syphon gas and hustle. Why not have a trifecta of delinquent skills?



